It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
