you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
