Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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