even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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