I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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