ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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