You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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