why didn't you poke me back
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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