check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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