This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Im part way to drunk.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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