CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
