I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
it's like heaven, but drunker
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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