awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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