Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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