it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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