i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
