Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.

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  (201): You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!" http://tfl.nu/rb09
  Replies (23) Good night (11794) Bad night (1156)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.

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  (919): the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's. http://tfl.nu/kqcw
  Replies (10) Good night (4267) Bad night (996)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.

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  (630): He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors. http://tfl.nu/ipmp
  Replies (36) Good night (2740) Bad night (5754)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?

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  (828): Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober? http://tfl.nu/zgqd
  Replies (10) Good night (2064) Bad night (1455)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.

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  (512): If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome. http://tfl.nu/rgpf
  Replies (11) Good night (4527) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?

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  (201): Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs? http://tfl.nu/s4vs
  Replies (6) Good night (2698) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.

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  (303): Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures. http://tfl.nu/miux
  Replies (7) Good night (640) Bad night (2018)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer

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  (623): Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer http://tfl.nu/er6w
  Replies (4) Good night (760) Bad night (1327)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?

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  (434): On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am? http://tfl.nu/gml1
  Replies (5) Good night (1128) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  When were you at my house?

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  (913): I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home. (785): When were you at my house? http://tfl.nu/k6cm
  Replies (5) Good night (3058) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.

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  (940): I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him. http://tfl.nu/9uqa
  Replies (15) Good night (2278) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some

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  (307): who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some http://tfl.nu/7roh
  Replies (9) Good night (1079) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.

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  (727): Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning. http://tfl.nu/1b4x
  Replies (4) Good night (699) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.

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  (530): I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing. http://tfl.nu/soo7
  Replies (2) Good night (802) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse

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  (773): It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse http://tfl.nu/hj9m
  Replies (3) Good night (606) Bad night (421)

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