laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
someone owes me an orgasm
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?