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Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
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