You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS