smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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