Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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