He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
