You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
