i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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