apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
