i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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