She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
