next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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