I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
