the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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