just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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