Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
dude. I can hear the air.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
