Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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