question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
