I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
