Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
