i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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