You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
