kristin has been a bad kristin
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
