so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
