you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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