You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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