i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
