I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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