fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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