I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
