He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
