Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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