I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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