your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Randomize
