an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
