I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
