shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
