I didn't shave. On purpose
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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