ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
