I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
