Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
my liver is dry heaving
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
