I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
