Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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