he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
