I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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