I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
birth control should be required to get into college
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
the raccoons are back...
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